“The BIG Difference Between Umbilical Cord Leadership And Leading By Strengths And Instincts”
By: Sandi Krakowski
The year is almost over!!! HOW did that happen?!
Have you ever done that? Looked at your calendar and thought to yourself, “How on earth did we get to the new year this fast? I mean I just put away the summer furniture…” Maybe your next thought is the realization that the bikinis and suntan lotion where actually put away months ago… and you had no idea how fast the months were speeding by.
In today’s Newsletter we’re going to talk about leadership. The good side of leadership… and what I’ll call, the ‘dark side’ that really should stay on some other planet with Darth Vader. Unfortunately, it is showing up more than we may have ever realized. And when you discover it… you’ll often wonder, like changes in seasons, how you got yourself into such a mess. Well don’t despair, I can help!
This is our topic today. What I will call-
Umbilical Cord Leadership Dysfunctions
Have you ever been lead by or maybe even mentored by someone who loves “UCL” – umbilical cord leadership? Not quite sure? Here’s a few clues. The words they often use are,
“Don’t disconnect. If you disconnect you’ll get lost”
“This is how we do things. You can't do it differently. This is the only way. To succeed or be a part of us you must be like this.”
“Never forget who raised you up. Don’t forget who gave you a chance to succeed. If you deny us, we'll deny you.
Now to some these statements might be shocking, but to others, you can attest that this type of leadership has not only been running rampant since the 50’s in models such as direct sales and network marketing, it’s made it’s way into large corporations and even families. Bottom line? People feel trapped.
UCL does make people feel trapped! Initially, it can make one feel more secure or ‘on track’ but eventually it squashes and destroys freedom. Leadership that seeks to domineer and control, or as the Bible says, “rule by constraint” I Peter 5:2 is always damaging.
In the book of Genesis, God gave His first kids a big command, “Take dominion!” Genesis 1:28. He was instructing them to have dominion over the animals, the earth, the place on the earth God gave. Let me show you what it means so you can see why UCL-umbilical cord leadership is so destructive!
The word actually means in Hebrew- to subdue. It means to bring it under subjection, to tread under foot. In plain English, to force into bondage. Now before you get yourself in a hot tizzy… keep reading, I think you’ll like this.
This command was given regarding the plants, the animals, the earth. It was NOT however given to either of God’s kids, Adam or Eve, when dealing with each other. Everything that moves on the earth, sure. With each other? NO WAY.
UCL does the exact opposite. It is careless in how it deals with things of the earth, doesn’t cultivate, multiply, take care of, nourish the animals, the plants and the natural surroundings… it neglects that. Then.. it seeks to ‘bring into bondage, subdue and force into control’ it’s fellow man and woman. UGH.. what a mess we’re in when we do this.
I’ve seen this with leaders who can’t stand anyone to be outside their realm of control! You can smell it a mile away when someone begins to do well in any area of life.. they get nervous. The story is always the same and they lead with horrific manipulation.
Be very careful when you hear words like, “OBEY me because I'm your leader” over and over again.. in business?! This is dysfunctional. Ironically, God says that men and women are to submit to one another in marriage, in love and fellowship. He doesn’t give either one the role of subduing, controlling or constraining. I want to know why the heck I’m seeing this take place in business!! Weird.. yes, I know.
It could be because people have such a sincere heart and desire to do so well in business that they don’t even realize the FORCED bondage they are getting themselves into.
Let me make this very clear to you. As a coach and a leader, I feel a moral obligation to do so. YOU are called to freedom. Be very careful who you are submitting yourself to.
If someone seeks to control another human being, that is going outside the realm of leadership that God Himself ever gave anyone permission to lead in. Animals, plants, etc…. NOT humans. If you have a leader in your life who threatens your individuality or says things like, “I forbid you to believe that (go there, do that)” you are in dangerous territory.
YOU are called to freedom, my friends. BE FREE.
When we look at the contrasting side of leadership, leading with strengths, we see how freedom will inevitably be the path. Take a deep breath… thank you GOD, we can lead and help others and ourselves to be free in the process!
Leading people with your strengths and theirs is a totally different ballpark.
We were not designed to go solo. No one was ever created by a loving God to stand alone, we need each other. Leadership that seeks to identify and create strength is actually leadership that creates freedom.
The Kolbe Score, create by Kathy Kolbe of http://www.kolbe.com is a very powerful tool to assist leaders in bringing forth the best of those they are working with. By honing in on instinct and gut reaction, the behavior and actions we will do, irregardless of circumstance, brings an enormous breakthrough. ALL of our high level mastermind clients are required to take this test and send me their findings. It's LIFE changing!
When we come alongside and help someone to ‘sharpen their edge’ and to be more than they ever dreamed was possible, in all areas of life, we assist in creating more leaders, not co-dependent, attached at the hip, weak followers. UCL. NO!
We act on instinct all the time. It is my belief that our instincts, gifts, talents and abilities were all uniquely designed to sing in harmony. Where we’ve gone off track is mass-media marketing that seeks to make us all the same and has a goal of causing conformity and uniformity rather than individual brilliance.
UCL dominates this type of mindset. Using things like scripts, rote memorization and set standards, one must conform or leave to succeed. The programming that exists which really thwarts any kind of individual thinking squashes potential, rather then elevating it.
If we turn our backs on our own instincts we create a chameolonized society where we all blend in and no on stands out.
The world was never changed by people who behave or work in this way. All major breakthroughs in our world have been originated by those who will pound the borders and boundaries and break all walls and constraints. BE UNIQUE!!
How to lead others with their strengths and yours:
1- Know who you are- this is critical.
The more comfortable we are with who we are personally, the easier it is to lead others. Only those who are clueless as to their purpose and their design, or uncomfortable with it, seek to constrain and control others. (Because they can’t seem to do so personally).
2- Take the Kolbe A Index test.
A leader who can clearly define and is passionately using their own gifts, talents and instincts will automatically raise up razor sharp, powerful leaders. It’s an interesting evolution! Like does breed like and the more we work on ourself, the more clearly defined we’ll be in working with others.
3- Be flexible and adaptable.
Nothing is set in stone in a good company or with great leaders. It’s only the great who can’t adapt that become the great who fell. While scripts or standards might be useful in defining policy or examples, don’t require people to model or mold themselves after ‘canned’ practices.
In a home, when it is safe for children to make mistakes and grow, with nurturing, direction and courage, young children become well adjusted adults who become amazingly adaptive, powerful and purposed leaders. Be willing to change, adapt and improve as a parent or grandparent, your children will follow suite. The same thing holds true in business.
Lead with strength and you’ll create strength. It’s up to us, as business owners, to create A Real Change in the world we live in!
With love,
Sandi Krakowski
