There's a new breed of Moms in the year 2010 and she's not settling for less

Working Mom websites and organizations that support Moms are a hot topic in the year 2010. And no small wonder, a recent New York Times articles shows that an increase of Moms who are the big bread winner at home is growing faster than ever. So what does this mean for the Mom who has a career but values her family very much and isn't willing to give up her priorities to pursue her goal in the world of success?

Many Moms at a recent poll taken on Working Moms Only stated that they weren't willing to give up family time and family closeness to achieve huge success. CEO and publisher, Mary Ellen Tribby has quite the resume which shows that it is possible to grow a huge company and have a healthy, balanced family life. But the thing that is very interesting is that Mary Ellen prides herself in not having a Nanny or a staff at home helping her.

Mary Ellen states: "So for years, I searched for someone who could help me learn. I wanted a mentor… but I couldn’t find someone who had the same kind of lifestyle I wanted and was willing to share her secrets.

Now, I’m not saying there are no successful moms out there. But when you take a close look at most of them, you see that many of them have teams of nannies, housekeepers, cooks, and drivers helping them out. That’s an entirely different lifestyle from the one I have. (And I’m guessing that you may not have a team of nannies, housekeepers, cooks, and drivers at your beck and call either!)

Among the other people I admired, many offered expertise in the business realm. But, to be honest, business was the top priority for many of them. Which meant that their business success came at the expense of their families and personal lives."  (See full article here )

Gone are the days of having it all and losing family

When I started my very first business online in 1996 I'll never forgot all the questions I got. "Will you hire a Nanny? Are you going to do this on your own? Will you work outside of the home?"  For the longest time I've dealt with judgment , opinions and suggestions ( which are opinions most time and judgments covered up as free advise) from family members, people at church, strangers and neighbors for my choice to work at home.  It's always the older couples who are the most supportive, probably because they come from a generation that values family.

But over and over again people would tell me it was nice that I could stay home and work while raising my kids but they just couldn't do it. I discovered that this was not always financially motivated.  There were plenty of women who went off to work because they didn't like being at home and they felt overwhelmed or ill equipped to be with their kids all day. When I started my first online store and came in contact with some adults who acted like they never had a mother or a spanking in their childhood I wondered if this was such a wise thing to do.

But my focus was not to leave my home, my kids or my family, rather it was to add to the income and the lifestyle that we currently had. It didn't take longer than 6 months and I realized I could earn in a week what my husband brought home in 2 weeks.  Later that first year I relished in the fact that I could earn in a few days what he did in a month. It wasn't a prideful thing for me, trying to compete or outpace him, it was a reassurance that to add a few thousand dollars to our income I didn't have to work a full 40 hours.

Old fashioned values aren't out of date

When I began to operate my first online business I still loved being able to grocery shop, take a day off so we could go to the museum and I enjoyed very much being able to see my children go through all their stages in life. You'll never hear me say that it was easy. There were days when I swore I was gonna quit and run away, or get a job or do something drastic. But then my hormones would settle and I'd realize the decisions I made were definitely worth it.

I was a very old fashioned kind of girl in a very modern society and I loved it. We ate together, lived together, my office was for the longest time the kitchen tables ( or on a table in the living room corner) and we were happy. It made sense when we also decided to home educate our kids as well. If this worked so well for me why would is send them to a system that  was going to program than for a 9-5 lifestyle and hoping to get by.

Mom doesn't have to be the center of the home

Through survival more than practice I learned to keep a schedule, get my children involved in chores and became very family centric in our approach to life. Sure I did the laundry and the meal cooking most of the time and really did enjoy cleaning the house ( I know odd but I still do love to clean I just don't get enough time to do it the way I want to) but our focus was always ' A family that works together sticks together"
 

This belief would be put to the  ultimate test when I got very sick for several years and had to sell all of my businesses. ( at the time I was running 4 simultaneously and producing over $ 6 million in income). We discovered that my system worked and we once again were reminded what was important. Everyone in our home knows how to cook, clean, do laundry and can even grocery shop on a budget.  We went through several years together, sticking together, helping each other as we always had.

Family focused lasts longer

I did recover from those very horrific illnesses and when we thought I wouldn't live another year a miracle from God Himself pulled me through. But we experienced horrific financial loss and we nearly lost our focus.  The pressure of selling a home, losing a business, paying off  6-figures in medical bills was almost more than we could take. I'm convinced to this day that the focus on family is what pulled us through.

When the family can say we'll eat oatmeal and pancakes if we have to every single night but we'll pull through it's a whole lot more powerful than just one person living a pipe dream and trying to create a story book lifestyle.  When Dad or Mom loses their job and income ( and my husband lost his twice in 3 years) it's a family centric mindset that I'm convinced kept us whole. We always did things together and we still do. Family focused lasts longer, I'm sold on that forever.

Raising kids with a Mom who is happy

Moms, it's important for you to be happy. If that means working outside of your home than you need to pursue that and give your kids the gift of contentment in their Mom. For me it always meant working at home.  But I've learned through the years and after countless seminars, trainings and coaching in business that a happy Mom creates a happy home. I'm not talking about a Mom who pursues her career, sacrifices the home, hates her husband and is trying to find herself in the boardroom. I'm talking about the Mom who has passion, is pursuing it, knows who she is and brings this to all areas of her life.

As a working Mom of 14 years I can honestly say that I'm a much happier Mom. My husband says I'm more balanced and I am easier to talk to. Experiencing real pressures in my day at work and having to deal with real issues here with our kids as well has made me a much stronger, wiser and more equipped woman.

Sacrificing to gain more

Sometimes you'll have to sacrifice so you can get more. Through the years we've driven our cars till they nearly died even when I was making 7-figures. We've always budgeted and meal planned and when we had some years where our spending got way out of line I hired a coach who taught me how to get out of debt. As a family we downsized, went without, built a family schedule so we could accomplish what we wanted… but the bottom line is. We've been happy in the process. If peace, joy and love ever left my home I knew something ELSE had to go. And we followed that standard for the long haul.

Can a Mom really have it all without hiring a nanny, a cook, a personal trainer and a clone?

Yes, I believe she can. She can have all her heart dreams of. Maybe her heart might need a tune up on what is important but from this 7-figure earning homeschooling Mom whose been married to the same man for 17 years and is passionate in love with her family- yes, she most certainly can!

Please give me your comments or send me an email at: sandi AT copywithresults.com  – I want to hear from you and what you think about Moms who work and can have old fashioned values as well.