SATURDAY THOUGHTS….. I’ve had an internal struggle for the last year that has never been shared anywhere. It’s a struggle that really didn’t bother me initially, but now, it burns in my heart, longing for an answer. God created me as an anomaly. Having huge success in business, as a woman who built her first 7-figure business online twenty years ago without a mentor, past experience or anything positions me in the business community in a very unique way. Many times however, it’s also positioned me to be a threat to those who are proud of their accomplishments and all that they ‘earned’.

They did their time, got an education and were therefore entitled to stand in their status. Me? I started a website when I had no experience and didn’t even know what I was doing. My first business required that I get an EIN when I had no clue what that even meant. My marketing plan consisted of sharing my favorite products and serving others. I quickly discovered that God had given me a powerful gift of influence, as people would follow me, connect with me, and my business grew very fast. To over $1 million the second year. Now my companies go to that level in under 5-6 months.

My sharp edges got smoother through the years. I did take classes, went to conferences, had mentors, learned things I didn’t know anything about. But my innovative ways to generate leads, write copy, create traffic were still all my own, something no one had ever taught me. They were so successful other people attempted to steal them, say they were not proprietary and even undermine the success I had. HOWEVER…….. during all of this, there was something else also going on in my life. My journey to find out who I was created to be, why I had this gift of influence that God had given me, my purpose and the favor that was upon my life.

My life has NEVER EVER been easy. When I recently wrote an article in column for Entrepreneur magazine about Chronic Pain, many were inspired, yet others hated me, said my success and overcoming my struggles was shaming them (because they were still struggling), and it stirred up all kinds of things. Weird isn’t it? I never said my pain was gone, or that I didn’t struggle any longer. I simply said my chronic pain made me STRONGER.  Ironically, my journey has ALWAYS gone this way. Every time I would take new ground, step further into all that God had called me to, it would inspire and motivate so many people, and yet, threaten others. An anomaly- something that deviates from what is standard, normal, or expected.

As I share my story of faith in God, the beliefs I have about the supernatural and my unwavering desire to infect the world with hope, it too has inspired and motivated millions of people, as seen by the amount of people who connect with me on social media, the over 2.3 million people who have read our blog this year already. But it also threatens others. I’m a successful business owner who really believes in the supernatural and doesn’t separate faith at work. My methods are very unique and different. Yet…… My story also NEEDS to be told.

So many people don’t know I was sexually violated as a very young girl, I learned to live in fear at a very young age. Rejection and abandonment entered my life way too early, and the pain I’ve lived through, and the challenges I’ve overcome are WAY too significant for me to overlook them, or ignore them. Bullying in 6th grade that put me in the hospital. Trauma all through high school that would scar me for many years. This ENORMOUS struggle has existed. Do I go on to continue helping the small business community succeed with my innovative means? Do I continue to create new paths teaching about how significant faith at work is, without being a para-church organization, but as a business woman? Or….. do I share my story. THE WHOLE thing.

The story of a young girl who first slept with a boy at 11 years old. The story of the same young girl who was gang raped by a boyfriend and others. The young girl who had an abortion and lived in self hate for many many years. The story of a girl kicked out of a religious church for getting pregnant out of wedlock. The young girl who battled depression, anxiety and even suicide for many years. The young Mommy who felt so unqualified to raise the three sons that God had given my husband and me. The young Mommy who lost several babies to miscarriage. The business woman who threatened industries and was a disruptor to corporations with her success from her kitchen table. The girl who believed God through chronic illness for more than 2/3 of her life. The woman who lives in physical pain every day, even though she influences millions on social media. The woman who believes that LOVE is the answer and has a dream of infecting the world with hope in the darkest places.

Some say, “do it all!” and up until now, I have. This causes some to ask the big question, ‘What is it that you actually do?” As I seek to give an explanation for how I’ve built yet another multimillion dollar brand, am launching an apparel company, sold 2 books I self-published to over $1.2 million in sales, and more…. I also speak powerfully about faith at work. Then when they hear my story and see my ability to speak and change a room quickly, they wonder why I’m not on TV yet with my own television show. This struggle…. is real. An anomaly- something that deviates from what is standard, normal, or expected. ONE who had deviated from what is so-called ‘normal’. Me.

Someone once said normal is a setting on a dryer, not the definition of our life. I agree. But I also know that this next chapter of my life will be so significant that it begs the question, “WHAT is my purpose?” To #BeMore is clearly a core value in it all. Not to do more, or to do better than anyone else, but to BE. To pay close attention to who I BEcome, who I do life with, and the legacy I leave. Why do you connect with me? Your answers will help me in finding these answers. Publishers have said I could write any book on ANY topic and go to New York Times best seller fast with the influence I have.

I would be a NYT already if I hadn’t self-published my last two books. Now it’s time to have a publisher represent me and take me farther. I also have only so much bandwidth and have no desire or need to do it all anymore. As our client base has doubled yet again this year, in 2015, I’ve downsized my staff recently, stopped doing a ton of mentorships, and shifted things to get clearer on my personal vision, my personal focus, and to take more time to write books, do television, travel more…. and speak around the world. It’s a life that we can do it ALL. To do what we’ve been CALLED TO, that is the richest, most fulfilling, impactful way to live.

I’ll be available to a select group of people through my VIP program and my IC program: One is going to be $5000 per year in 2016 (it used to be $35k a year) and one is $47 per month. I’ve changed my CEO salary to just $1.00 so that we can help even more people. I’ll still do occasional webinars throughout the year…. but as I come out of the gates of publishing and television in 2016…… my PURPOSE will be solidified. WHAT is it?

Why do you follow me, read my posts, watch my videos and love my live streams? YOU… my BFFs mean the world to me. It is for you that my mission to serve exists. Post below WHY you connect with me. It will help me find some answers and fuel my ‘coming out of the gates’ in the next few months even more. I love you! Thank you for reading this post and for connecting with me, everyday. xoxox

With love,

Sandi