Why Being Someone You’re Not At Work Is Dangerous, EXPENSIVE And Discouraging
Let me start this article out with this statement: IF you read any article I’ve EVER written, this one is the one to NOT overlook or miss.
Have you ever felt like you’re being someone you’re not? One opinion rises up inside of you, but your mouth (and heart) go in another direction? Peer pressure, expectations of parents, counseling (and powerful suggestions from career coaches) and more can do quite the number on our brain, our confidence and eventually, our future. However, living in our truest self is the best gift you can give to yourself and the world.
If I had a dime for every time someone told me I would ‘be great’ at something, I would have well over $10 million dollars in the bank from just this one thing, and it would still be growing. Being a gifted woman who has many talents used to be the hardest thing to walk out. Now it’s one of the best parts of my life. But that ‘best part’ didn’t come easily, or without a lot of counseling and reframing my mind to the plan of God on my life.
Being flexible and adaptable is a good thing. As a leader, we must learn to shift like a gazelle and not lose momentum. But to constantly change the color of our skin like a chameleon, which I refer to as ‘chameleonizing ourselves’ is not only draining, it is out right dangerous.
When someone steps into a career path they are not wired for, but have learned to perform in, it affects everyone around them. The team can feel the downward pull, and the amount of energy it takes to push and defend such a position could be responsible for adrenal fatigue, breakdown of the bones and even, auto immune conditions. I’ve suffered and am healing from all three.
So, what can we do if we are being triggered by this article and we know in the core of our being that we’re NOT being our true self but we have no CLUE who that true self is?
Five Keys To Stepping Into Your Truth At Work And Changing YOUR Life
1- Take the Kolbe test and be super honest with yourself. This test is for YOU, no one else. Now listen, if you’re driven and have leadership on you, you’re gonna struggle to find the BEST answer. This test doesn’t work that way. It’s created for instinct, not personality and right or wrong. If you’re a die-hard fact finder (otherwise known as extremely analytical) even that statement of there not being a right or wrong will bother you. But go with me here. Follow your GUT. This shows up on a good day and a bad. Our INSTINCT will show us what we’re made for. I’ve taken over 50 personality, spiritual gifts, leadership quadrant tests and more. THIS one is very different and very unique. I also require that anyone who wants to work with me in any capacity, whether one on one as a client, or as an employee or contractor, take it. ADD the Career MO and you’ll see on a print out what you could and should do. Here is mine: (You can see I’m right on track!)
There are some careers on this list that I don’t want to do, but it would be fun to play around with. Storm chaser, for example. I have no desire to make a living chasing storms, but I would find it fun to chase a few! Therapist is another one. I have an Apostolic Mantle, so my Spiritual anointing gives me the ability to do ‘therapy’ type coaching as well as my instinct, but it’s very draining for me. I’m the kind of therapist who would tell you to get over your crap, pull up your diapers and get your own boots on. A person anointed for Pastoring would be better at this then me. An Apostle creates foundations that others can walk in. Pastors help with the walking.
2- Forgive every single person that you can think of that has influenced your current career path and identity that you already know is in conflict. Do this with a journal, or hire a coach to work through this with you. www.rtfi.org has changed my life when it comes to spiritual issues. I highly recommend them for this. (You may also find coaches who do SOHO ministries, they are pretty similar. SOHO can deal with common issues, day to day struggles, forgiveness, etc. RFT will reframe and rewire your DNA if you’ve gone in a wrong direction due to the things I’ve mentioned, generational bloodline issues and more. Some of you will want to do a 4 day session with RTF, others would be set free by simply going through some of their audios and videos, or by having a SOHO session. This cannot and should not be overlooked. If you don’t do this step, you’ll just start performing your way into another realm of dysfunction.
3- Answer this question without any rules, expectations or anything: WHAT do you want to do with your life? What is your dream job? Don’t give me your financial, familial, gender or other excuses. IF you are instinctively wired for something, you will find it the easiest thing you’ve ever done or could do. Just because you can’t see how that would play out now, or how you would pay for such an education means nothing. The FIRST STEP is to be honest with yourself. It is my personal belief that a LOT of the financial oppression we see in the world is tied to NOT doing this. I can’t tell you how many people I meet every single week who think that becoming their own boss, and owning a home business, is their path to financial freedom. YET, at the core of who they are, they are not only NOT wired to do so, they have a proven track record of not being able to do so. Just because you want to be financially independent doesn’t mean you have the personal self-discipline, stick to it attitude and full on ‘keep going no matter what’ that being an entrepreneur demands. But it could mean that you could and should be making more money and living a totally different life. Consider this- shopping addictions can be rooted in not being happy in our job. We shop, we get into debt and then we hate going to work because all we’re doing is working to support our addiction and we hate our job. Imagine if you were doing what you’re wired for and you still loved to shop, but it isn’t a means of covering up a toxic self-image.
4- BE willing to change and then DO the work. Don’t talk about it, say ‘that would be nice’ or other silly things on this path. The Bible says that the one who chases fantasies has poverty waiting for them. While it will be the most gratifying and rewarding thing you’ll ever do, the journey could be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. The only alternative you have however is to stay stuck and miserable, or make a change. YOUR choice. We’re not victims. Once we get past that a lot changes.
5- Hang out with people who love their work and be with people who are going places. As you make this change it’s going to be IMPERATIVE that you hang out with new people. This means you’ll love the people you’re hanging with now who might be dysfunctional, but you’ll have good boundaries and will not take seriously their warnings that you’re crazy, going off the deep end or ruining your life by doing this ‘now’. People who do great things in their life are constantly trying to be better, do better and go farther. This is a godly thing! So don’t let someone stuck in mediocrity talk you into staying in their quicksand. Love them, but be cautious who is in your inner circle of people.
I hope this challenges and blesses you!
People ask me all the time HOW I was able to make sure drastic changes in my life after going through so much trauma. This is how: I refuse to settle when God is calling me up higher. I hope that inspires you to do the same! This is the most powerful gift you can give yourself, your children and the people you are called to influence.
With love,
Sandi Krakowski
Disclaimer: An affiliate link is used above. I will earn a small commission if you take the test. However, I require anyone who works with me personally to take this test, so please do it. 😉
